Randomeese

I’m thinking in a language I don’t understand. My thoughts−the memories−flash by so quickly that I can’t observe them. They poke their heads out from behind doors to which I have long ago lost the key. Then, as quickly as they have arrived, they hide themselves away. I believe this is the definition of scatter-brained.
Not understanding what it is I am thinking isn’t something to which I have become accustomed. I’ve never had problems comprehending or remembering. I find I spend most of my time in thought because that world seems to make more sense. The world outside my skull has always been the one to confuse me. My world isn’t upside down, it’s inside out.
I am frantic as I try to remember what it was that I was thinking a moment ago. Where was I going with that thought process? My brain cells are carrying my thoughts around and disorganizing them so I can’t find anything. Words that come out are just as hazy as those that come in.
My fingers are loosing their grip on my comprehension of how life works. How does life work? What’s the point? What is life? What is death? Why does milk go sour? Why do people eat sour candy? Some candy would be good. Good people are always punished for their good deeds. That’s why people die tragically.
I miss my norm. I miss being present.

The Weight

It's difficult

-breathing-

It's harder than ever imagined

-living-

It isn't fair

-losing-

It never leaves

-death.