Power

I realized that I have it.
I realized that people are learning my name.
And it scares me to the nth degree.

I am watched. People want me to fail. People idolize me (lightly). It's no laughing matter that I am to be in the public eye.

Ethics are suddenly important.
Smiles are effortless and constantly necessary.

My words reach you.
And you are the world.
My words reach the world (lightly).

So this is power?
Scary how small it really is.

Perfect Match

Most unfortunately.

Recently I have started reading. A lot. And I suddenly realized how much I truly missed reading.
Because I am reading more, and again, I have also felt the need to write. A lot.
And so far, I have decided to expose the trajedy of my work environment to the public in a boo I have considered titling "Tips From Your Waitress." It's almost clever.
Anyhow, I feel like a human again. I feel as though I am embracing the person I was supposed to become but have recently denied with all the working pressures and expectations of a college student.
This is who I am now:
I cuss, most unfortunately because I intake countless profanities daily at work and in classes.
I spend money. Badly. Just because I have it.
I am a slob and haven't seen the floor of my room or the back seat of my car in a number of weeks now.
I am attracted to loser men who have done and are doing nothing with their lives.

If the girl I was met me now, we wouldn't even be friends. We would cordially nod and walk on because we weren't each other's type.
Yep.
This is me. Most unfortunately.