Sentiment

I’ve never been one to remember the little things. The insignificant sights, expressions, smells, feelings- they’ve never stuck to me. So, when I am going about my day, and my heart tries to remember a “little thing”, it tends to exhaust me from the energy it takes to fully recall.
As of late, my heart keeps these memories close to the surface. Sounds trigger memories I’ve never thought twice about. The pattern of my sister’s laugh. The wrinkles in my grandma’s cheeks. The smell of the last stack of pancakes my grampa ever made. The squeeze of his hand the last time he told me he loved me. All these things are held close to my heart and it creates in me a feeling that is totally new. Is this sentiment?
Perhaps I have always stored these feelings of love somewhere and this change in my life has given them a violent shove toward the surface. As they boil up, they tend to force out droplets that have been hidden far too long. Ancient remorse, aged anger, new tastes of love- they all flood my senses as these little things work their way back into my life.
I think I could potentially fall in love with this “sentiment”. It’s a living memory of a love that has been postponed by Death. It’s a freeze frame in an ever growing child’s life. It’s a life we are able to hold inside, to keep forever, in a hope to hold on to the little things.