9-1-WAIT!

The phone rings- its one in the morning. The first thought that crosses my mind is I’m going to let this telemarketer have it. But of course, they stop calling at eleven. It’s a family emergency. How quaint. I am sixteen years old and I am constantly bombarded with the multitude of family “emergencies”. The problem is, very rarely are they emergencies.
I search the receiver for a mute button then after finding none, I suck in my breath. “I can’t find your sister. I woke up at midnight to take another Zanaflex and she and her girls were gone in the car. I don’t know where she went. Have you heard from her?” says Grandma. With a stifled snicker I clicked the talk button and slammed down the receiver. It’s so funny really. She wants her out of the house and the second she leaves she panics.
My family is so obsessed with trouble that when none is present they invent their own. I must express my pity on any passer-byers. They never know what hit them. Just, everything was all smiles then suddenly- WHAM! They hit them with some mythical garbage and their peaceful lives are over. I know I’m not making any sense- you too would understand had you ever met them.
The phone rings- its two AM this time. Wasting no time searching for a mute button, I pick up the phone. “- he called me crying. He asked if he could come see us. I just took the girls to see John for a few minutes. But mom’s not here. And all the trouble she’s been having lately, I’m just worried. Has she called you again?” Convinced I had the entire story, I hung up the phone.
Here is what I had deduced. My aunt, who is going through a divorce and really doesn’t want to, is calling her husband against her mother wishes. Since she is living with her mom, she must submit. Its been three weeks since the initial break up and her two daughters haven’t seen him since then. Drunk he calls around midnight and asks to see the girls. My grandmother’s dreams must have been very boring because she woke up to start trouble. The two phone calls and here we are.
It wouldn’t be a big deal if they were less frequent. It wouldn’t be a big deal if there were ever real emergencies. I could actually show some sympathy if anything were ever really wrong. But two A.M. Really?
The number you have dialed is no longer available, please stop trying to call so late.
-J D Hunt