Until Further Notice...

Until further notice, I am not singing in the car. Today I noticed all the songs I feel express my point of view- music has become the simplest way since I had you- are all sung by men. Why does it seem that men are the only ones who get their hearts broken?
You, yes you, broke my heart.
Until further notice, you turned this optimist into a pessimist.
I don't want to move on. I don't want to just be your friend. But know that I will fake it as hard as I can until I find some sort of relief.
Some sort of...something that is better than what I have going on right now.
Seriously, boy. Do you know how embarrassing it is for me to admit that you got ME? I have been the one that no one could phase since forever.
I don't even believe in love.
But until further notice, you changed everything. I can pinpoint the exact moment I fell for you. I remember the smell of your skin, the sound you made, the words you said, and didn't say.
I wonder everyday when I think of you, if you think of me too. I wonder if you still want me. I wonder if you still think my eyes are beautiful or if you will ever wrap your fingers in my hair ever again.
I wonder everyday.
I dream every night. The same depressing, fairy tale dream. The dream that you come back and tell me how wrong you were. You close the door, take my hands, and look me in the eyes...
To put it simply, I miss you.
And I want nothing more than your missing me to eat you alive everyday until you try to make me yours again.
I want you to make me give you the second chance I promised I would never give. I want to give you the second chance we know you don't deserve.
That's the simplest way for me to explain what would make this better.
Stop listening to the wrong advice and listen to what I hope your heart is telling you.
You belong with me until further notice.